1. THOU SHALT NOT RUSH IN ON CASUAL FRIENDS
Please wait a grace period of at least a few weeks before following the dude your friend hooked up with on Friday night and liking his archive of selfies. We know they posted that photo of you all at the party and oh look they posted a funny picture of a cat, but chill. Oh and if they stop hooking up, relax with the Likes — unless you’re out here trying to reheat some leftovers.
2. THOU SHALT NOT INFRINGE ON HOMIE’S BOO THANG
Speaking of Liking your friends’ flames’ pics — if you’re double tapping their face more often than your homie does, you’re being suspect or overenthusiastic. Relax those limbs ma (or pa).
3. THOU SHALT NOT THIRST-TRAP EXCESSIVELY
On the topic of selfies: the ratio of selfies you take to regular insta-fodder (vegan burgers, tattoos, Manhattan skyline, ramen, flyknits etc. etc.) is a social signal as to your mental state. The algorithm is roughly as follows:
loneliness x self confidence divided by last time you had sex x last time you were in a real relationship =
So be easy, k? Like all fun things in life, thirst-trapping is best when practiced in moderation.